Here we go again…
It’s been 4 years since I’ve been diagnosed. Well, almost 4. Each year that I’ve remained cancer free and healthy I’ve commemorated the event with a tattoo that holds deep meaning to me.
Today, I found out that I need to go under the knife again. Is it cancer again, you ask? Not that I’m aware of but I do have an appointment with my oncologist at the end of this month so please keep your fingers crossed for me. But this year’s tattoo may have to wait… especially with the costs (still unknown) of my upcoming surgeries.
What is happening is I’ve found out that my reconstruction was botched. They basically need to remove everything from my chest again and rebuild up. I’ll post more as I find out more information. I just know that my first surgery is around late March or early April.
*sighs*
P.S. Did I ever mention that I found out I didn’t finish my chemo regimen. Also, I’m also PR+! Fun news, that…
Bzzz … Badge of Honour
I apologise for the quality of the photo. Poor lighting, hand tremors, and a mobile camera do not make an ideal combination.
I’ve joined the ranks of many breast cancer survivors and officially gotten my permanent badge of honour. Well, my version of it anyway.
Today, I got my first tattoo! Originally it was going to be a small cherry blossom on my right hand but after some consideration, I decided to have it on my left ankle/leg. I know the usual tatt to get would be the ribbon… but eh, I’ve never been much of a fan of the symbol. I mean no offense to anyone in anyway when I say this, btw. I just feel the ribbon’s just been exploited and overused commercially, etc. But that’s a whole other rant for another day.
The whole process was a lot less painful than I thought it would be. I actually almost fell asleep during the tattooing. Only the parts where the design hit my ankle did it really hurt. I’m delighted with the turn out.
The blog is back and so am I, hopefully.
Things to catch up on:
- Mike and I eloped!
April 1st, 2010: Mike and I had a quiet Justice of the Peace ceremony with my two lovely gal pals and our guy friend. It was short, sweet, and all I could ever wish for. Afterwards was lunch at an Irish pub, mmm. I’ve never been much of a fairy tale wedding woman. I spent time dreaming of other things whilst I disfigured my Barbie and Ken toys, making monsters.My day was perfect.
- Depression
This one’s a bit harder to admit. I’ve been dealing with severe depression, some dealing with cancer, some of it not. It’s been a large part of the reason why I ceased posting about anything. I hope to touch on some of it later. - Change is in the wind and it feels good.
I’m in Seattle for a month while Mike works a job! I haven’t been here in over 9 years. It’s good to be back and see a few friends.Oh, and the biggest news of all － Mike and I are moving back west! - Surgery: More reconstruction
I’ve recently had nipple reconstruction. I had been wavering on whether or not it was a wise idea but after talking to many ladies, I finally decided it was for me. Anything to help make me feel whole again. The downside? I needed to start wearing bras again, boo!It takes about two months to heal from the surgery. For me, a bit longer since I’m a constant picker and can’t leave the surgery sites alone. I am, however, scheduled for the nipple tattooing when I get back to home in June. I can’t wait to be done with the reconstruction process.
-
Skin cancer?
My two biopsies have returned cancer free! Huzzah!
Meat.
In the end, you realise you’re just another piece of meat.
In the end, you notice your oncologist is only worried about business, liability, and money making.
Whatever happened to genuine compassion and concern?
When did it turn into the crushing of a patient’s confidence, hopes, and trust?
In the end, one gets shoveled off onto another doctor’s plate.
I feel dead inside. I’m just a piece of meat.
■ and then ...
beautifulgrim